After You

Life is changing for me. I am in a better place mentally and physically after spending so much time being sad over you. I am ready for the moving on and growing phase of my life. You hurt me, which sent me into a spiral. I am not letting you have that control over me anymore. You have moved on. Now, it's my turn.

I have to learn how to trust and let people in again. That is going to be the hardest part. I don't even know where to start, but I know that this is the next step for me. I cried over you for too long. Honestly, it was pathetic, but it's getting easier.

This past summer, I made a conscious decision to better myself. I am losing weight, staying busy, and trying to find normalcy in life. I don't wake up sad everyday anymore. Of course some days are harder than others, but I can find the good in each day. That is a huge step for me.

When I said goodbye, I thought that it was going to kill me. I didn't, and you know what, I am stronger because of it. I am happy. I really am. I thought I wouldn't get to be happy anymore. I thought that I wouldn't be able to smile genuinely again. I can.

I realize, now, that I am capable of so much more than I have given myself credit for. I can do this. I can be happy and healthy. I can stay strong. Saying goodbye was the hardest and best thing I have done, and I am glad that I did it. If I didn't, who knows what would be happening to me right now.

I am glad you are happy. Now I get to be happy too.

-L